All Mad Here
by HardfacedQueenofMisadventure
Summary: (Oneshot) Alice has a brief encounter with the Cheshire cat. Set just before Hatter's introduction, minor changes from the events in the mini-series but nothing that affects the plot. Enjoy!


**This is a scene that I feel should have been in the mini-series somewhere. Maybe not written this way, but there should have definitely been a scene with the Cheshire cat (and no, that little visual allusion with Dinah smiling in Alice's dream did not count, cool as it was).The Cheshire cat was always one of my favorite characters from the novel and I feel that he (or in this case, she) should have had a part to play.  
So here's my take on things!**

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Alice turned, but the rat-catcher was lost in the milling sea of people. He'd told her to follow him, but where had he gone? She tried to get the attention of several bidders, but they were all too fixated on whatever that strange substance was to pay her any heed. Drops of cold water ran down her back from her hair, and she sighed miserably. Only five minutes in this strange place and she was already lost? _Great. Just great._

"_You look lost, little girl." _A silken female voice purred in her ear, and she could feel the warmth of somebody's breath on her neck, but there was no sign of anybody that close. Alice shivered, suddenly gripped with the unmistakable feeling that somebody was watching her. Her eyes scanned the crowd, and everyone in sight was still completely oblivious to her presence.

"_And you must be freezing. What did you do, swim across the lake?" _

"As a matter of fact, yes," Alice replied, still completely at a loss as to who she was addressing. "Look, who the hell are you? And where are you?" A laugh, warm and genuine, rang out from somewhere behind her.

"_Why, I'm right here! See for yourself." _Slowly, warily, she turned. Standing there as calmly as if she'd been there the whole time was a woman dressed in a dark blue corset, ragged skirts and ripped tights. She eyed Alice up carefully, circling her inquisitively, a slow, wide smile edging onto her face. Piercing green eyes flicked to the strange tattoo on her forearm, and she had to fight the childish urge to hide her arm behind her back. The woman made a soft sound of appraisal, and nodded to herself, still slowly circling. Something about this filled Alice with unease, but she fought bravely against it. _  
_

"Do you mind?" she snapped; she was not in the mood for games. "You're making me dizzy."

"My apologies," the woman replied sincerely, smile still in place, and slowly faded from view. Alice blinked a few times, not sure what had just happened. She heard a soft chuckle, then the woman spoke up again.

"_What's your name?"_ Once more, Alice turned to follow the voice, and the woman was standing behind her, as though she'd never gone anywhere in the first place.

"Alice," then, realising the absolute absurdity of the whole situation, "that must make you the Cheshire cat, right?" Despite the harsh bite of sarcasm in her words, the woman gave a delighted laugh.

"And they try to tell you that Oysters are unintelligent," she murmured, half to herself. There was that word again. _Oyster. What the hell is that supposed to mean? _The Cheshire cat stuck out her hand, tipped with somewhat lengthy cobalt nails. "I'm Cheshire, Chess to my friends, close friend and accomplice to the Hatter. It's nice to meet you, Alice." Alice tentatively shook Cheshire's hand, governing the irresistible impulse to laugh aloud. An uncontrollable smile made its way to her face anyway, despite her best efforts. This whole situation was just too surreal to be true. An Alice chatting with a Cheshire cat. In true Carroll style, Cheshire wavered in and out of the visible spectrum almost constantly; she also never seemed to stand still, constantly pacing back and forth. There was something vaguely feline about the woman, actually: her slender, sinuous body, her slightly pointed teeth, bared often in a not-quite-unfriendly smile. Alice was actually disappointed not to see whiskers or a tail anywhere.

"So…where are you off to, Alice?"

"I don't actually know," she admitted. "I'm looking for my boyfriend." Cheshire's eyebrows darted up briefly, but she didn't say a word. "There was a rat-catcher, he said he was gonna take me to somebody who knew something, but he's gone."

"Who is this boyfriend of yours?"

"His name's Jack. Jack Chase." Alice had no idea how this particular piece of information would be of help, but she gave it anyway.

"He an Oyster too?" Alice nodded. Cheshire mirrored the movement, a sudden flicker in her eyes.

"And you fell out of a Scarab, right?" Another nod, and Cheshire snapped her fingers, pretty loudly, briefly vanishing and reappearing with a sudden smile on her face.

"I know just the man you want to see. Follow me, and don't fall behind!" With a swish of her hips, she was off through the crowds; Alice only just managed to keep track of her due to her unnaturally bright, wild hair. Every so often she turned, urging Alice to hurry up, or occasionally just to check that she hadn't wandered off anywhere. Before too long, they stopped. Alice made as though to peek round the corner, but Cheshire stopped her.

"Wait here for just a second," she instructed, before sashaying off ahead. Silence reigned for a few seconds, before it was punctuated by a bright, female giggle, and some rather seductive whispering that Alice was glad she was unable to decipher. Things continued in this way for a few minutes, and she began to feel somewhat uncomfortable. Finally, Cheshire re-emerged, her crimson hair in disarray, tucking a small vial of something the colour of blood into the pocket of her long coat.

"He's ready for you now," she whispered. "Good luck, Alice of Legend." She flashed a final gleaming smile, and disappeared entirely. _Alice of Legend? _Alice decided it wasn't worth trying to make sense of that, and bravely stepped over the threshold. The first thing she heard was a question: one that would have put her at ease in any other environment but just managed to sound suspicious here.

"_Would you like a cup of tea?"  
_

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**A/N: Okay, that…happened. I'm not sure how I feel about this one – aside from the fact that I hate the ending - but, as always, you guys are the true critics. Tell me what you thought, please. Reviews will be rewarded with tea…and flames will be used to barbecue borogoves. **

**P.S: I feel that the woman who best fits my mental image of Chess in this fic is Emilie Autumn, or the woman who is my avatar right now. This has no bearing on the fanfic, just thought you should know. Bye for now! **


End file.
